family

So many of us think that happiness comes from accomplishments, monetary success, a star-studded career – all products of hard work and the climbing of various social ladders – and while these things can be fulfilling, they might be taking us away from other important components of happy life, namely our friends and families.

Studies show that personal relationships really do have some of the largest impact on overall happiness, as well longevity. Not spending enough time with loved ones was one of the most common regrets listed by people on their deathbeds, according to The Top Five Regrets of Dying by Bronnie Ware.

Compared to social status, wealth, and career achievements, having strong relationships with close friends and family has much, much larger impact on overall happiness. Harvard Psychology Professor Dan Gilbert says, “We are happy when he have family, we are happy when we have friends, and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.”

This is a pretty stark reminder that maybe all of the attention we give to career goals and other “paths to happiness” are less important than we think, and we should be taking the time out of our busy lives to stay connected to the people that matter most.

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Wow, Day 11! I am so excited to welcome YOU here today.

(If you just arrived here, and it’s Day 11, no worries, just click here and you can start on Day 1. If you would like more information about what Soul Coaching® is, click here, and to learn how to get the most out of this 28 day program, click here. The best part is that this class will be available to look at 24/7! So you can come back and re-do a day, or start this 28 day program anytime!)

Today is all about exploring your relationships with other people. It’s amazing what you discover when you actually take the time to step back from a situation and start analyzing it rather than merely reacting to it out of habit.

 

Years ago I had a “friend” who always called me when she had time to kill, like when she had just dropped her son at a piano lesson. She would tell me all about her day, her problems and ask me for advice on her issues. Then, just as I would start to share something about myself, she’d say, “Oh sorry Lisa, but my son has just finished his lesson, I’ve got to go! Bye.”  This went on for quite some time, and since I was raised to be a good girl (weren’t we all? Love you, Mom!) I found I couldn’t work up the nerve to tell her I was hurt by her actions.   After a lot of pent up frustration on my part, I wrote her a letter, and told her that I no longer wanted to be friends, which in retrospect was a pretty drastic measure! Fortunately, she had moved away, so the “break up” wasn’t that difficult. What I learned from this experience was that I was allowing her to treat me this way, and that what I needed to do was to be up front and honest (in a nice way) with her at the time of the event rather than harbor resentment. I still work on this issue, but being aware of it is half the battle.

I’d love to hear about your discoveries and experiences in your relationships! Blessings to you, Lisa

Water: Day 11 – Exploring Your Relationships

 

 

The way we know that we exist is through relationships.  We have a relationship with our mother and father when we are born; then later with our family, our friends, and our co-workers.  We also have a relationship with animals; the elements of nature: rocks, sky, rain, and fire; and with the Creator.  We have relationships with household objects: our car, computer, food, and even money and sex.  And ultimately the way you relate to every person, object, and thing is a reflection of the way that you relate to yourself.

 

When you begin to examine your relationships, you may find that the way you relate to the world around you is a reflection of the way that others related with you when you were a child.  If your parents were critical of you, you might have a tendency to be critical of others.  Your parents, however, are not to blame.  They related to you the way that their parents related to them, and so on.

 

The way you relate with others and experience life is usually:

1.  A reflection of the core beliefs that you have about life, or

2.  A reflection of the way people related to you when you were young, or

3.  A projection or a mirror of the qualities you don’t accept or you suppress within yourself.

 

Taking time to examine your relationships helps you to understand and unweave negative relationship patterns.

 

Affirm Affirmation for the Day:I love deeply and fully and I am loved deeply and fully or …  I am loved and loveable.

 

Today: Choose another area of your home to clean.  If you don’t know where to start, bedrooms, bedroom closets, and bathrooms are a good place.  Clean that corner you haven’t cleaned since you moved in.  While you clean, do affirmations, such as, “As I clean, I am creating the space for new opportunities to flow my way.”

Level 1:  How Do You Relate to the World?

 

Today, be aware of the way that you relate to the world around you and notice if there are any recurring emotional patterns.

 

For example, on the 28-day program Marion noticed that she had a recurring pattern of constantly protecting herself.  She wasn’t authentic with people because she was protecting herself from their potential judgments.  The pattern was repeated in other areas of her life.  For example, she always checked several times to make sure that her car and her house were locked.  She also backed up every computer file three times and stored them in three different places.

 

The first step in the journey to your soul is telling the truth about where you are.  Once you begin to notice your recurring emotional patterns, begin to accept them and even love them.  They have brought you to where you are now, and you have grown spiritually through having them.

 

The next step is to be willing to change those patterns.  Patterns come from inner rules about life … and inner rules are based on beliefs.  And beliefs can be changed!  To change your beliefs, create an affirmation that you repeat over and over such as, “I am willing to release this pattern of… (protection) and accept that I am … (safe and protected)!”  An affirmation that is mumbled, routinely droned, or lazily chanted, doesn’t change anything.  An affirmation that is shouted, or visualized with emotional intensity, or said out loud with passionate body movements, can and will change your life.

blue = copyright © 2007 material (reprinted with permission) by Denise Linn

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